A man goes to see a lawyer. “If I pay you a thousand dollars, will you answer three questions?” he asks. “Yes”, replies the lawyer. “And what are your other two questions?”
Three Jewish mothers meet for coffee. “Oy” says the first. “Oy, oy, oy” says the second. The third says: “I thought we weren’t going to talk about our children!”
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What do you call steaks ordered by 10 Jews? Fillet minyan.
These are real headlines:
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link
Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995
Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find
The Los Angeles Times, November 2
Alcohol ads promote drinking
The Hartford Courant, November 18
Official: Only rain will cure drought
The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts
Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men
The Sunday Oregonian, September 24
Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes
The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30
Wachtler tells graduates that life in jail is demeaning
The Buffalo News, February 26
Economist uses theory to explain economy
Collinsville Herald-Journal, February 8
Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity
The Chicago Tribune, March 5
Lack of brains hinders research
The Columbus Dispatch, April 16
How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise Hart
Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5
Fish lurk in streams
Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29